Mike B's 10 DM Commandments
Posted by mikebrannon
#1

Your mileage may of course vary. But to me, these are the top 10.

1. Thou shall not force a path unless necessary.
To me, this is the cardinal rule. The kiss of death for interest in your role playing game is when you show the players that their decisions do not matter and the game will unfold the way you predetermined. Of course you can knock them back on track from time to time, but never make them feel that you are undermining the direction they want to take.

2. Thou shall not arbitrarily kill the players.
A character is a time investment and often an emotional investment for the players. While danger and risk are the bread and butter of adventure, arbitrarily killing (or otherwise weakening or penalizing the characters) is not fair. This is a game, not reality. Even if it is a realistic game, it's still a game. It's supposed to be fun. But this goes hand and hand with...

3. Thou shall not make the players invulnerable.
Even the most impartial DM is going to be somewhat on the players' side. But if you make it obvious that they're going to make it through everything without a scrape, and there's no real danger or risk involved, the game isn't much fun either.

4. Thou shall not play favorites.
One of the reasons I dislike playing with couples when one is on the other side of the DM screen. Or worse, when the DM obviously has a crush on one of the players. Forget any kind of fairness to the other players, the DM's bias will soon come through. Alternatively, if there's someone you don't like who is playing, you need to either set that aside or decline to DM. Everyone needs to be on equal footing.

5. Thou shall not make the players oppose each other.
The magic of D&D is that everyone is playing together to forge their way through this mysterious and dangerous world. If you are making the players oppose each other, the game isn't going to be very fun and there's going to be many hurt feelings. If opposing players are what you want, I suggest a board game or a video game instead.

6. Thou shall adjust to the players' game mood and setting.
They say that restaurant patrons "vote with their feet." In other words, if they don't like the food, they'll go elsewhere. That's true in role playing campaigns too. If you aren't giving your players the experience they want, they'll stop coming. If your players want gritty and dangerous, give them that. If they want goofy and funny, give them that. They'll communicate what they want by how they play their characters. And what they want may change from time to time. But if you force a style or subject they clearly aren't happy with, they'll stop showing up.

7. Thou shall not solicit feedback.
Important distinction: you definitely should look for and absorb feedback, but don't ask the players for feedback about your DMing. First of all, it's awkward. It's like asking everyone what they think of the food you fixed when you invite them over for dinner. Nobody is going to tell you their true feelings about it unless you are very close friends. It's puts them on the spot and they'll just give lip service about positives. Feedback is subtle. Players leaning forward, reacting to your story, roleplaying, getting excited? This shows you they're engaged. They like the game you're running. Players slouching, playing with dice, messing with their phones, chatting about other things? You're not giving them a fun game. Once your game is a chore, players will stop coming. When it's fun, they'll be eager for the next chance to play.

8. Thou shall not use pop culture.
Popular culture is a natural mainstay for us nerds. But when you wedge them into the D&D game, you're breaking the immersion and making a joke of the whole thing. If you must do it, do it very subtle (such as a rumor of a noblewoman named Gaga attending the upcoming joust in a lurid dress). If you have Rick and Morty showing up out of a wormhole, that's just destroying the whole idea.... well, unless #6 applies to that.

9 and 10.... um, don't use unlucky dice and chip in for the pizza. 
 

Posted by stiehle
#2

Nice!  Though I disagree vehemently to #8 myself.  My last tabletop group (I miss them dearly, now being a couple thousand miles away...) would often insert Monty Python jokes, Princes Bride quotes, and other memorable references to pop culture in our games.  As you said though, depends on the table and the players involved.  

Posted by garhkal
#3

I also disagree on #2..  Yes it is a game, but if they get in above their head/make stupid decisions/get bad rolls, 'fudging' to save them is poor form, as similar to #1, it shows their decisions don't matter.

Additionally on "don't let the players go against one another", what about when say for an adnd game, they got charmed/dominated by the baddies.. 

Posted by mvotruba
#4

I would like to expand on #4 (Don't play favorites):

If you are DM'ing an event that includes younger players, be kind and inclusive.  Perhaps I'm more sensitive to this being both a parent and a teacher.  I've been in games where my daughter was largely ignored.  She's a paying customer and a fellow gamer.  As Mike said: Equal footing.  These are the hobby's future gamers.

At a Gen Con many years back, I DM'ed most of the slots that year.  My last slot (on Sunday) was for 3 parents and their 3 kids.  I made it a point to NICELY ask each kid directly what they wanted their character to do on their turn.  I wanted to include them and make them feel equals at the table.  Although I was drained after 4 days, it was one of my top 2 gaming tables that con. 

Posted by eldrad12000
#5

#5 is all well and good. But remember, you don't make the players oppose each other. Sometimes they will do it on their own. I have run some crazy games that ended play vs player of their own accord.
#6 Meh, I make my own games and explain the type of game the players will be getting if they choose to play. I don't adjust my game for them. They come in knowing what they are going to get.

Posted by nascragman
#6

Good ole Mike B!  Missed ya buddy!

Posted by bith
#7

I see your point #5, and raise you 1 Paranoia.

Posted by aaronmlopez
#8

I like the list, but I am not entirely sure that you put enough effort into the wording of #9 and #10... 

Posted by garhkal mvotruba
#9

voice_of_reason wrote:
I would like to expand on #4 (Don't play favorites):
If you are DM'ing an event that includes younger players, be kind and inclusive.  Perhaps I'm more sensitive to this being both a parent and a teacher.  I've been in games where my daughter was largely ignored.  She's a paying customer and a fellow gamer.  As Mike said: Equal footing.  These are the hobby's future gamers.
At a Gen Con many years back, I DM'ed most of the slots that year.  My last slot (on Sunday) was for 3 parents and their 3 kids.  I made it a point to NICELY ask each kid directly what they wanted their character to do on their turn.  I wanted to include them and make them feel equals at the table.  Although I was drained after 4 days, it was one of my top 2 gaming tables that con. 

Linked to that.  Don't let one player Rule the table.  If you have someone boisterous and controling, tell him to Shut up and give other player's a chance.  Look to those other players, and ask them specifically what THEIR thoughts/actions are. 

 

Posted by rhhata
#10

Might I insert a suggestion, based upon games I've previous experienced?
"Your NPCs are not the heroes, leave that to the player characters."
It's somewhat annoying when you play through a session or campaign to the climax, only to have the DM elevate his/her favorite NPC to the hero level - kill the big bad guy, solve the problem/riddle on their own, garner the treasure/accolades to themselves.  From the player perspective, it feels like the whole thing was a waste of time.  (Personally, I've not played with those GMs again.)

Posted by garhkal rhhata
#11

rhhata wrote:
Might I insert a suggestion, based upon games I've previous experienced?
"Your NPCs are not the heroes, leave that to the player characters."
It's somewhat annoying when you play through a session or campaign to the climax, only to have the DM elevate his/her favorite NPC to the hero level - kill the big bad guy, solve the problem/riddle on their own, garner the treasure/accolades to themselves.  From the player perspective, it feels like the whole thing was a waste of time.  (Personally, I've not played with those GMs again.)

That's why i follow the rule "If the DM needs to put in an NPC into the party" have him or her, either be SUPPORT (like a cleric who only heals/buffs) or a support bruiser (like a spare fighter)..  Never have him act to pre-empt player choice, only go WITH what the player's choose".

Posted by rhhata garhkal
#12

garhkal wrote:
rhhata wrote:
Might I insert a suggestion, based upon games I've previous experienced?
"Your NPCs are not the heroes, leave that to the player characters."
It's somewhat annoying when you play through a session or campaign to the climax, only to have the DM elevate his/her favorite NPC to the hero level - kill the big bad guy, solve the problem/riddle on their own, garner the treasure/accolades to themselves.  From the player perspective, it feels like the whole thing was a waste of time.  (Personally, I've not played with those GMs again.)

That's why i follow the rule "If the DM needs to put in an NPC into the party" have him or her, either be SUPPORT (like a cleric who only heals/buffs) or a support bruiser (like a spare fighter)..  Never have him act to pre-empt player choice, only go WITH what the player's choose".
Exactly.  NPCs should be support for the Player Characters, in small groups, use them to fill in secondary skills that may be needed.  At most, they can become a conduit in to the group to ask "Um, do we really want to do this?", give them pause to think, but don't overrule what the players decide.  And if needed, their death can be a warning to the players that they may be in over their head, or they really are being stupid.  NPCs can be a wonderful tools if used sparingly and correctly, but can be a campaign killer if used badly.

Posted by mikebrannon rhhata
#13

rhhata wrote:
garhkal wrote:
rhhata wrote:
Might I insert a suggestion, based upon games I've previous experienced?
"Your NPCs are not the heroes, leave that to the player characters."
It's somewhat annoying when you play through a session or campaign to the climax, only to have the DM elevate his/her favorite NPC to the hero level - kill the big bad guy, solve the problem/riddle on their own, garner the treasure/accolades to themselves.  From the player perspective, it feels like the whole thing was a waste of time.  (Personally, I've not played with those GMs again.)

That's why i follow the rule "If the DM needs to put in an NPC into the party" have him or her, either be SUPPORT (like a cleric who only heals/buffs) or a support bruiser (like a spare fighter)..  Never have him act to pre-empt player choice, only go WITH what the player's choose".
Exactly.  NPCs should be support for the Player Characters, in small groups, use them to fill in secondary skills that may be needed.  At most, they can become a conduit in to the group to ask "Um, do we really want to do this?", give them pause to think, but don't overrule what the players decide.  And if needed, their death can be a warning to the players that they may be in over their head, or they really are being stupid.  NPCs can be a wonderful tools if used sparingly and correctly, but can be a campaign killer if used badly.

I once joined a campaign where it was established at the off that one of the most powerful badasses in Faerun was the DM's own player character.

I excused myself. That told me everything I needed to know about what kind of game this was going to be.

Posted by bith garhkal
#14

garhkal wrote:
voice_of_reason wrote:
I would like to expand on #4 (Don't play favorites):
If you are DM'ing an event that includes younger players, be kind and inclusive.  Perhaps I'm more sensitive to this being both a parent and a teacher.  I've been in games where my daughter was largely ignored.  She's a paying customer and a fellow gamer.  As Mike said: Equal footing.  These are the hobby's future gamers.
At a Gen Con many years back, I DM'ed most of the slots that year.  My last slot (on Sunday) was for 3 parents and their 3 kids.  I made it a point to NICELY ask each kid directly what they wanted their character to do on their turn.  I wanted to include them and make them feel equals at the table.  Although I was drained after 4 days, it was one of my top 2 gaming tables that con. 

Linked to that.  Don't let one player Rule the table.  If you have someone boisterous and controling, tell him to Shut up and give other player's a chance.  Look to those other players, and ask them specifically what THEIR thoughts/actions are.  
Corollary: Don't force one player to Rule the table.  My wife hate's nothing more than to find out that her pre-gen is the "leader" and everyone is looking to her to know what the plan is.  Especially in a con game where she doesn't even know everyone at the table.

Posted by eternusiv
#15

Awesome list

Exceptions to 8:?:  "Thy gentry shalt abide", or, "dost thou even hoist?"

jk.  But I think your rule 6 sometimes overrules 8: the (I hate this term) 'beer and pretzels' crew....

Posted by garhkal bith
#16

saburch wrote:Corollary: Don't force one player to Rule the table.  My wife hate's nothing more than to find out that her pre-gen is the "leader" and everyone is looking to her to know what the plan is.  Especially in a con game where she doesn't even know everyone at the table.

Good corollary.  Slightly linked to that one, if you do say, have to have a maguffin that the party needs to keep ahold of, DON'T let them have the pc of the player who's often not going to be there, be the one KEEPING IT!!

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